(Poetry) The Chaplain's Grief

by Br. Rufino Corona, T.O.R. 

I have always been perplexed by what the mind remembers

The precious moments that rewind the driving tick of the clock

Whether it is rummaging through a biker’s dirty leather vest

Or telling a young immigrant family that their baby will not survive

Or searching through your mind looking for the “right thing” to say

Hoping that whatever you come up with will change their reality

It is interesting that my mind doesn't remember my first death

But I am completely certain that it will never forget my last

And as I scroll through all of the faces that I never saw speak

Remembering the names doomed to be lost in confidentiality

I realize that my life has moved forward much to my dismay

While the crying eyes are slowly losing the redness they've carried

Time, you cruel and heartless slavedriver

Lightening a load we wish would overwhelm us

But I will never forget the “non-viable’s” beat red head

His bulging eyes and ten webbed fingers and toes

I will never forget the pictures that the suegra showed me

How only his bright tattoos showed any semblance of his former self

And I will never forget how her heart and mine simultaneously raced

As the holy water rolled off of her small wrinkled forehead

But at last while I sit on this dark and quiet evening

Gazing into the eyes of my compassionate consoler

I can't help but hope that the cruel and heartless will never best me

That this load I willingly carry will always weigh more than the air